It was a hard week.
I actually woke up around 2:00 am Monday morning in tears. The thought of my Macbook in disrepair brought on those tears.
I have been through a lot since April 1995. That said– I have seldom cried. The loss of my property does make me cry. A lot of my property was stolen in 1995. Computers, stereo equipment [I had a full rack of Sony Stereo equipment with huge speakers]. When I tried to file a report with the police– they essentially laughed in my face. Ask my mother.
So today, I hold everything I still have in my possession with perhaps more value than someone who has not suffered the losses I have sustained- can understand. On top of that– my career with Rockwell was also lost about the same time.
My heart broke in 1995. In late 1995, I started asking why me? Initially, I thought it was Rockwell.
I do not think I can explain– the emotional issues I have gotten past. Oddly enough, it is not people that make me cry today. It is the loss of my possessions.
But that said– I have always been one of those people that loves what they own. I am not one of those people that thrifts clothes. I love my clothes. I do not clean out my closets and start again if I gain weight.. I lose weight.
I will get you one– but you cannot have mine. When I was very young, my mother often got my sister and I the same things. Sewing baskets, clothes, bikes. My sister has always been bigger than me– so it was mostly easy to tell whose dress was whose, but the other things– I would always find a difference or mark it as mine.
I am sure there is a psychiatrist that would like to suggest I am slightly off because of this. No, I simply love my possessions and want to keep them.
That said, when I started to lose my possessions in 1995 without explanation this bothered me. When I tried to correct these problems– I was met with “because we can”.
I am the wrong person to steal from. Always was. But I am generous [insofar as gifts] if I have the money.
I have worked hard over my lifetime. The callous way it is suggested I should donate my car, time or “leave the bag in the car” is the wrong noise tossed at me.
I have not worked hard all my life so some silly little black girl who apparently has no idea what “the bag is staying with me” means or some old piece of trash that thinks it can threaten me into giving something I do not owe– is the wrong approach with me.
My Macbook works with every flat screen monitor and TV in the house, of which there are five.
I think it might be the inverter board– but will check at the Apple store next week about the battery.
I used my Macbook a lot. I am not unhappy with the hardware. This may have been my fault in that I used an expanding battery too long– especially when I could have taken it out long ago.
I love my car. I love my computers. I love my clothes. Do not steal anything else from me.
That said– the abstract suggestion is– my car a white convertible RX7 with a black top is too noticeable. The car left in the driveway appears to be a ford taurus and less de-script.
I have owned a White Mazda RX7 since September 1981. I fell in love with that car when Dan Sullivan a sales counselor at Circuit City and I were looking through a magazine and a photo of a yellow car was offered. This around 1980 or so. I was not in love with the yellow color– but I did love the style. Sleek, low, too me. After I started with Boeing, I got one.
Someone familiar with inequalities might look at the name Mazda and ask if I was trying to say something… Today, I think Nixon and my grandmother might be the joke behind that inequality. When I got my Mazda– I can assure you– I had no idea about any of that.
I purchased the things I did– because I wanted them. No message. No abstract noise. I wanted them.
You do not steal my car, work, computers nor anything else.
But FBI– I have done this before– if there is no problem- why do I need a less de-script car.. [A Few Good Men– if he is not in danger– why did he have to leave the base– especially if your men follow orders?]?
Pussy does not scare me. Besides that– the idiot police are going to know the car I drive [no matter what it is] and they look like the bullies.
I do not owe dirty idiot cops. Not kidding.
I am not crying or frightened of people. I knew this last christmas. Because my uncle howard was supposed to have died the day before.. no one was in town after Christmas morning. I spent Christmas alone. Just me and my Macbook.
No I am not crazy. I do not carry pussy. I do not care who nor who they think they are.
I do not carry pussy.
I cried- Monday morning… I thought I lost my best friend. I went out this week. I was polite to those who waited on me. I worked my problems. I researched. I am sitting here now looking at the flat screen television in the kitchen that is now being used as an external monitor for my Macbook. I can use the one in the den or one of several upstairs in various rooms.
Pussy– you are screwing with the wrong person. I said no. I will not tolerate more loss. A pussy– I can walk away. I spent Christmas last year alone.
You have no idea how Christmas was in my house as we were growing up. It was always special. Last year, I spent it alone. I know that was a pinnacle for me.
Get your pussies off me. I do not carry pussy. Take more of my possessions? I will take your job or find a jail for you… think I am kidding? I wouldn’t.
The huge Sony TV in the background was recently replaced in the den with a flat screen HDTV. The TV was parked in the living room until I found someone to help me move it to one of the upper bedrooms. Instead I am now using it as the office tv, since I am using the kitchen tv as the external monitor.
I am tired of losing my possessions. Get your crap off me.